i feel so terrible right now. actually, i have been feeling terrible since yesterday. i was on MC yesterday because my had such a bad headache, terrible flu, my nose is like a leaking tap, and my whole body wa aching and my throat feels so sore.
i went to the doctor but all he gave me was panadol, flu tablets and something for the sore throat. i though i was having an infection and anti biotics should be on the way but the doctor feels otherwise. i think i might have contracted from one of the teachers. yes, its contagious. the last time i call home (that was like 15 mins ago), it seems now that my mom is also down with the same symptoms as me.
i am a walking virus! sheesh. anyways, work is crazy and its not helping me at all. i am coughing like a choo choo train on full speed and i have lost my appetite and now i am so weak..
urgh, i hope i get well soon. the weekend is almost here!
i am so pissed. apperently words have been going around that i have a sex tape going around on the internet. and it shows my face doing indecent act.
ok, to get the record straight, i do not have a sex tape. or i dont remember makinga sex tape. and i obviously am not stupid enough to show my face to the whole fucking world (mind the language) when i am doing any gross indecent act. and that people are talking about me behind my back about such things? with this so called friends, talking bad behind you instead of helping. i dunno. it seems now really, i cannot trust anyone anymore.
but really, a sex tape? u think i wat paris hilton ah? like i have no other better things to do then to make amy own sex tape?
i so wanted to list names here... of those who really make such malicious evil rumour about me. even if think you saw me or someone that looks like me doing such craop things, isnt it justified, as a friend that you ask about me. confront me first, rather then spreading more about the discovery to your other friends. hah?how could you? is it your mission to destroy everyone's else life so that you can be the best or something? how can you not confront me?
anyways, i am very confident that i do not have a sex tape or anything of such nature.
but, if you think you can prove me wrong, that you have fucking concrete proof, then, i dare you to email me the proof. musxtakim@yahoo.com
NOW.
update no.1 - still nothing. i think i will just shake this thing off. really. if people are comparing me to paris hilton, then what can i say? really.
i had my first osteopathic treatment today. it was good. and fun. and i guess its about time i do something about my migraine. actually, its about time i do something to get rid of my migraine. this pain, is so... annoying. if i am having migraine, i am done for the day. its so painful, to think that if i were to crush my head to the wall, is less painful then the migraine itself.
anyways, i were to OPRC. Oeteopathic Pain Relief Center. my tai tai bff recommanded me this place. i somehow knew the osteopath there. we met in a birthday party before. anyways, his clinic is situated in nankin row in chinatown. a nice cosy shophouse. i went after my work.. it was a short bus ride to chinatown.
anyways, jo, the osteopath, thinks that my body needs to be recondition because of my long suffering of migraine, that my body is too used to the pain and it doesnt know how to heal itself. he said, i am thinking of too much negativity, i mean, with my current situation now, personally and professionally, whats new. he thinks i am greatly under stress. *cue happy thoughts*.. so, today, he managed to calm me down abit, release the preassure from my neck and skull, and he gave me homework. *cue again, happy thoughts* so, anyways, i have to see him again in about 3 days, so my next appointment will be next tuesday. before my thai music.
so, if you need osteopathic theraphy, i recommand you OPRC. they are good. moderately priced but its worth the money. no pain, all gain!
i had a fun time yesterday. i was performing thai classical music for the president. yes, the president. The President of Singapore. Mr Nathan. the number 1 man in singapore. and i even managed to shake his hand. i know, no big deal but still,its not like everyday that the president decides to come to NUS for fun and watch us play for fun. it was fun. the only sad thing is that his people and his entourage refuses us to take any photos with him. there were even no group photo of our group and him. so sad. sometimes, a little bit paparazzi shot is ok you know. i didnt know why they must be so strict with his photos. i mean, we are a decent group you know.
anyways, after the short performance, we had a huge high tea buffet. it was good. chocolate eclairs with fresh cream filling... yummy.. i know, i know, "once on the lips, forever on the hips" but the eclair was heaven. very goodlah.
anyways, since there is not official photos of us with the president, i just show u the pre-performance photos lah. we all were in traditional, well, kind of traditional costume. white and purple, purple being the colour of the princesss. i mean, she was the one who donate the instrument. Kudos to the royalties who support music!!!!!!
me wearing the traditional thai costume. free-balling baby!
only cloth and belt and knots and nothing else. in between my legs. the whole ensemble.
its one of the days where i feel complete down. i feel sad. and depressed. well, not that i am doing good and feeling good now days, but there are too many things happening to me right now, that is just too.. choking. i am choking. i just want to breath. i just want things to be happening.
i dunno what i am saying. my head feels so heavy. i just want a break.
sorry for not writing. i just came back from my usual printer who prints my everything. and they just keeps getting better. anyways, i am the graphic designer for the latest OperaStudio opera production, La Serva Pradona by Pergolesi. I did their advertising stuffs and their programme booklet and the screen translation. it was fun. and i was glad such people like my usual printer services is helpful. if you want to print anything, poster, postcards, namecards, i recommand you, ColorVizio. they are situated in sunshine plaza, in bugis.
they have the best staffs, the best printer, and they can accomadate to your budget and request. i have been going to them since, forever. good stuffs one.
anyways, my life is in a tumble. and its my mistakes. argh, i think i am destructive. i need a break. this week has been such a long busy, tiring week. i am so knacked. i need a break. its only the 3rd week of schooling week and i am complaining. but i am sure, a short break is what i need to recharge myself. i want to see rainbows and eat ice cream!
after much thinking, i think i feel that some people, or most of the people that i know, creates more malicious gossips and rumours then the regular tabloids magazines that i read.
It very harsh it hurts! You know who you are! No names for now.
i might be a little paranoid when i am writing this down but then, again, i dont care. its my blog anyway. if you think its too egoistic, the "x" button is just above on the right corner.
anyways, i think i am about to have enough. its getting too annoying. people are mis-understanding me. i think its very true that, your best friend is your biggest enemy, because they are stifling the real you. they want you to be what they wish you to be, not what you want to be. i really dunno who i can trust actually. not even myself. well, i do trust myself mostly, but people. how much can you really trust other people? even if they keep emphasising that you can trust them? there is always an underlying message behind it. i know, because i am like that? maybe?
actually, i think, i am very quiet person. i like to observe and i do like to take part sometimes. i used to be quiet and i like it. i know now, that i am very out going and out spoken, and sometimes, my choice of words and language is a bit different and "special" but to me its all words. oh wait, i do know a few true friends who i can really trust. but again, can i really?
ok, i am crapping, because, truthfully, i am very unhappy now. actually, i have been unhappy since forever. there are happy moments but there are no truly long lasting happy moments. but there are a lot of lasting unhappy moments.
i just want to sit on the beach, and look at rainbows.
MM Lee, stopping to see us play plink plonk music.
me and my gamelan group, singa nglaras, just finshed performing for our MM, LKY, in Shangri-La Island Ballroom. it was a fun concert. actually, we are more like lounge music, while all these rich and famous drink their cocktails and we play a huge gendhings and ladrangs. oh, and LKY stop for 20 seconds to see us play and ask the people around him which group is playing. can u believe that no one know who we are until the NUS Chancelor came and told him its the NUS Singa Nglaras Gamelan Ensemble. Oh, half way in the 20 seconds, i look up while i am playing and smile at him and he smile back. that was very friendly of him.
anyways, i had to accompany the instrument back to NUS with the movers. now i know how my prof feels when everyone goes out and celebrate and enjoy the feeling of euphoria of aftger performing a successful concert, you go alone to sent the instrument back to its storage place and then go home and eat macdonalds. hmmn......
And there i was wondering why were my blog hits so low yesterday!! Damn stupid Adverlets ad! I removed the stupid ad and the problem was solved.
My blog was redirected to some stupid website.I know a lot of other blogs were hit by this problem. Advertlets forgot to renew domain name! Like that also can... sigh.. anyway all these ads generate peanuts.If your blog has advertlet's ads..maybe you should remove them for the time being.
ok, now i tell u everything. why i went to germany instead of thailand. so to those who is angry or pissed at me for not telling the truth, i am very sorry. please understand.
24 hours before my actual trip to thailand via SQ, i got a call from germany that my deutsch father is in critical condition. apperently, he was bathing at home, in the cold cold winter season, and he suddenly cannot feel his leg and he fell to the shower floor. my deutsch mom found him after 2 hours in the shower on the floor crying. it seems that he really has lost his sense of balance and he cannot move his leg at all. so the mom picked him up, (a 70kg old sweet lady carrying a 130kg husband) from the bath room to the bedroom on the 2nd floor, dressed him up, bring him down to the garage on the 1st floor and drivers him to the doctor. (dont ask me how she did that, i am still puzzled how she did it). and at the doctor, the doctor immediately ask for an emergency and he was sent to the hospital for further check up.
the Führer, in the hospital
ok, short history. my deutsch Führer has been battling cancer since 10 years ago. he had bladder cancer. for most men, its the end of their life. but for him, i guess, he was just lucky. he survived it. be battled it for 4 years and after that, he was declared cancer free for 6 years...
the father and the mother.
so, back to the story, the doctor did many many test and scan, and then the news came. he had cancerous growth at his spine. and he needs to be operated immediatly or he will not be able to walk anymore. now, knowing people from this generation, the man are very macho. they would rather kill themselves then be crippled for live. so the operation wnet ahead as planned and it was very successful. he was lucky again. 24 hours after the operation, he can move his leg again. can you believe that? from not be able to feel his leg to moving his leg within 24/36 hours. its a christmas miracle.
and we decided to fly back on the day of his operation. that was just after my magnificat concert in esplanade. because, cancer dont play play. i mean, when i was having my german job attachment during my poly days, i was staying at his place, and he really take good care of me. he was the sweet oen who bought chocolates for me and the chocolate cupboard always stays full. he was a funny man and i admire him for his love of weissbier and pork knuckles.
anyways, when i was there for 10 days, he was recovering so well. he was on a fast fast speedyh recovery. he was smiling and joking again in no time. he can also bring himself to the toilet. all this within 48/60 hours after the operation. it was a nice feeling to see this man, so lucky, so brave and so fast recovering. it made the traveling less painful (mind you, a 13 hour flight in SQ to frankfurt, and then a 5 hour train ride to reach the hometown, and then meeting this cold cold dark grey depressing winter season. it was for me 35 degrees to -10 degress in 13 hours.)
so, when i return back to singapore, i was sure i will see him again this june when i have to be europe for the gamelan thingy in prague and germany and possibly switzerland.
anyways, now, deutschland just called again. apperently, the Führer just had his final result from the test and he could speak anymore. he was crying on the phone and he just couldnt speak anymore. it was either the news was too shocking for him or that he fell into depression again or that anything worst happen again. right now, i still do not know whats the latest news. only that the doctor need to do another CT Scan on him and he was given medicnie to calm down and rest. it sounds very uncertain and scary at the same time. i just hope for the best. lets all hope for the best. i am a bit sad even.
so, meiner deutsch Führer, get well soon!!!
and that is the reason why i was in germany, and not in thailand.
greetings. firstly, happy new year. so, yes, i was not in thailand. i was somewhere else. in germany, oberbayern. i changed my flight ticket last in the last 24 hours before i had to leave...phew........ i let the photos speak for it selves.
@musxzart
who is he?
I am Musxzart. I am a blogger. I am also musician enthusiats who love food,
fashion, travelling and photography and all the fine things in life.
i feel so terrible right now. actually, i have been feeling terrible since yesterday. i was on MC yesterday because my had such a bad headache, terrible flu, my nose is like a leaking tap, and my whole body wa aching and my throat feels so sore.
i went to the doctor but all he gave me was panadol, flu tablets and something for the sore throat. i though i was having an infection and anti biotics should be on the way but the doctor feels otherwise. i think i might have contracted from one of the teachers. yes, its contagious. the last time i call home (that was like 15 mins ago), it seems now that my mom is also down with the same symptoms as me.
i am a walking virus! sheesh. anyways, work is crazy and its not helping me at all. i am coughing like a choo choo train on full speed and i have lost my appetite and now i am so weak..
urgh, i hope i get well soon. the weekend is almost here!
of sex tape and lies.
Monday, January 28, 2008 10:42 AM
i am so pissed. apperently words have been going around that i have a sex tape going around on the internet. and it shows my face doing indecent act.
ok, to get the record straight, i do not have a sex tape. or i dont remember makinga sex tape. and i obviously am not stupid enough to show my face to the whole fucking world (mind the language) when i am doing any gross indecent act. and that people are talking about me behind my back about such things? with this so called friends, talking bad behind you instead of helping. i dunno. it seems now really, i cannot trust anyone anymore.
but really, a sex tape? u think i wat paris hilton ah? like i have no other better things to do then to make amy own sex tape?
i so wanted to list names here... of those who really make such malicious evil rumour about me. even if think you saw me or someone that looks like me doing such craop things, isnt it justified, as a friend that you ask about me. confront me first, rather then spreading more about the discovery to your other friends. hah?how could you? is it your mission to destroy everyone's else life so that you can be the best or something? how can you not confront me?
anyways, i am very confident that i do not have a sex tape or anything of such nature.
but, if you think you can prove me wrong, that you have fucking concrete proof, then, i dare you to email me the proof. musxtakim@yahoo.com
NOW.
update no.1 - still nothing. i think i will just shake this thing off. really. if people are comparing me to paris hilton, then what can i say? really.
migraine and osteo
Thursday, January 24, 2008 11:51 PM
i had my first osteopathic treatment today. it was good. and fun. and i guess its about time i do something about my migraine. actually, its about time i do something to get rid of my migraine. this pain, is so... annoying. if i am having migraine, i am done for the day. its so painful, to think that if i were to crush my head to the wall, is less painful then the migraine itself.
anyways, i were to OPRC. Oeteopathic Pain Relief Center. my tai tai bff recommanded me this place. i somehow knew the osteopath there. we met in a birthday party before. anyways, his clinic is situated in nankin row in chinatown. a nice cosy shophouse. i went after my work.. it was a short bus ride to chinatown.
anyways, jo, the osteopath, thinks that my body needs to be recondition because of my long suffering of migraine, that my body is too used to the pain and it doesnt know how to heal itself. he said, i am thinking of too much negativity, i mean, with my current situation now, personally and professionally, whats new. he thinks i am greatly under stress. *cue happy thoughts*.. so, today, he managed to calm me down abit, release the preassure from my neck and skull, and he gave me homework. *cue again, happy thoughts* so, anyways, i have to see him again in about 3 days, so my next appointment will be next tuesday. before my thai music.
so, if you need osteopathic theraphy, i recommand you OPRC. they are good. moderately priced but its worth the money. no pain, all gain!
noy-noy-ing for the president
Wednesday, January 23, 2008 8:45 AM
i had a fun time yesterday. i was performing thai classical music for the president. yes, the president. The President of Singapore. Mr Nathan. the number 1 man in singapore. and i even managed to shake his hand. i know, no big deal but still,its not like everyday that the president decides to come to NUS for fun and watch us play for fun. it was fun. the only sad thing is that his people and his entourage refuses us to take any photos with him. there were even no group photo of our group and him. so sad. sometimes, a little bit paparazzi shot is ok you know. i didnt know why they must be so strict with his photos. i mean, we are a decent group you know.
anyways, after the short performance, we had a huge high tea buffet. it was good. chocolate eclairs with fresh cream filling... yummy.. i know, i know, "once on the lips, forever on the hips" but the eclair was heaven. very goodlah.
anyways, since there is not official photos of us with the president, i just show u the pre-performance photos lah. we all were in traditional, well, kind of traditional costume. white and purple, purple being the colour of the princesss. i mean, she was the one who donate the instrument. Kudos to the royalties who support music!!!!!!
me wearing the traditional thai costume. free-balling baby!
only cloth and belt and knots and nothing else. in between my legs. the whole ensemble.
me and xinwei
group photo the men miss thailand wanna-be
me and wayne
BFF's in thai music
untitled.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:30 PM
its one of the days where i feel complete down. i feel sad. and depressed. well, not that i am doing good and feeling good now days, but there are too many things happening to me right now, that is just too.. choking. i am choking. i just want to breath. i just want things to be happening.
i dunno what i am saying. my head feels so heavy. i just want a break.
colour color print printer
Thursday, January 17, 2008 12:22 PM
my designs.
sorry for not writing. i just came back from my usual printer who prints my everything. and they just keeps getting better. anyways, i am the graphic designer for the latest OperaStudio opera production, La Serva Pradona by Pergolesi. I did their advertising stuffs and their programme booklet and the screen translation. it was fun. and i was glad such people like my usual printer services is helpful. if you want to print anything, poster, postcards, namecards, i recommand you, ColorVizio. they are situated in sunshine plaza, in bugis.
they have the best staffs, the best printer, and they can accomadate to your budget and request. i have been going to them since, forever. good stuffs one.
anyways, my life is in a tumble. and its my mistakes. argh, i think i am destructive. i need a break. this week has been such a long busy, tiring week. i am so knacked. i need a break. its only the 3rd week of schooling week and i am complaining. but i am sure, a short break is what i need to recharge myself. i want to see rainbows and eat ice cream!
a self explainatory video.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008 1:43 PM
the emotional tumble i am going through is well depicted in this song. mariah carey never fails me.
tabloids.
Friday, January 11, 2008 9:50 AM
after much thinking, i think i feel that some people, or most of the people that i know, creates more malicious gossips and rumours then the regular tabloids magazines that i read.
It very harsh it hurts! You know who you are! No names for now.
You read me wrong.
Thursday, January 10, 2008 2:16 PM
"You read me wrong,
I wasn't trying to lead you on.
I want a friend.
I didn't mean to turn you on.
I told you twice,
I was only tryin' to be nice .
You think that Im a fool,
Cause I wouldnt play by your rules?"
. . .
i might be a little paranoid when i am writing this down but then, again, i dont care. its my blog anyway. if you think its too egoistic, the "x" button is just above on the right corner.
anyways, i think i am about to have enough. its getting too annoying. people are mis-understanding me. i think its very true that, your best friend is your biggest enemy, because they are stifling the real you. they want you to be what they wish you to be, not what you want to be. i really dunno who i can trust actually. not even myself. well, i do trust myself mostly, but people. how much can you really trust other people? even if they keep emphasising that you can trust them? there is always an underlying message behind it. i know, because i am like that? maybe?
actually, i think, i am very quiet person. i like to observe and i do like to take part sometimes. i used to be quiet and i like it. i know now, that i am very out going and out spoken, and sometimes, my choice of words and language is a bit different and "special" but to me its all words. oh wait, i do know a few true friends who i can really trust. but again, can i really?
ok, i am crapping, because, truthfully, i am very unhappy now. actually, i have been unhappy since forever. there are happy moments but there are no truly long lasting happy moments. but there are a lot of lasting unhappy moments.
i just want to sit on the beach, and look at rainbows.
i performed for MM LKY!
Monday, January 7, 2008 11:32 PM
group photo
MM Lee, walking in with like his entourage.
MM Lee, stopping to see us play plink plonk music.
me and my gamelan group, singa nglaras, just finshed performing for our MM, LKY, in Shangri-La Island Ballroom. it was a fun concert. actually, we are more like lounge music, while all these rich and famous drink their cocktails and we play a huge gendhings and ladrangs. oh, and LKY stop for 20 seconds to see us play and ask the people around him which group is playing. can u believe that no one know who we are until the NUS Chancelor came and told him its the NUS Singa Nglaras Gamelan Ensemble. Oh, half way in the 20 seconds, i look up while i am playing and smile at him and he smile back. that was very friendly of him.
anyways, i had to accompany the instrument back to NUS with the movers. now i know how my prof feels when everyone goes out and celebrate and enjoy the feeling of euphoria of aftger performing a successful concert, you go alone to sent the instrument back to its storage place and then go home and eat macdonalds. hmmn......
Stupid Advertlets..
Sunday, January 6, 2008 3:05 PM
And there i was wondering why were my blog hits so low yesterday!! Damn stupid Adverlets ad! I removed the stupid ad and the problem was solved.
My blog was redirected to some stupid website.I know a lot of other blogs were hit by this problem. Advertlets forgot to renew domain name! Like that also can... sigh.. anyway all these ads generate peanuts.If your blog has advertlet's ads..maybe you should remove them for the time being.
get well soon, my deutsch Führer
Saturday, January 5, 2008 3:11 PM
ok, now i tell u everything. why i went to germany instead of thailand. so to those who is angry or pissed at me for not telling the truth, i am very sorry. please understand.
24 hours before my actual trip to thailand via SQ, i got a call from germany that my deutsch father is in critical condition. apperently, he was bathing at home, in the cold cold winter season, and he suddenly cannot feel his leg and he fell to the shower floor. my deutsch mom found him after 2 hours in the shower on the floor crying. it seems that he really has lost his sense of balance and he cannot move his leg at all. so the mom picked him up, (a 70kg old sweet lady carrying a 130kg husband) from the bath room to the bedroom on the 2nd floor, dressed him up, bring him down to the garage on the 1st floor and drivers him to the doctor. (dont ask me how she did that, i am still puzzled how she did it). and at the doctor, the doctor immediately ask for an emergency and he was sent to the hospital for further check up.
the Führer, in the hospital
ok, short history. my deutsch Führer has been battling cancer since 10 years ago. he had bladder cancer. for most men, its the end of their life. but for him, i guess, he was just lucky. he survived it. be battled it for 4 years and after that, he was declared cancer free for 6 years...
the father and the mother.
so, back to the story, the doctor did many many test and scan, and then the news came. he had cancerous growth at his spine. and he needs to be operated immediatly or he will not be able to walk anymore. now, knowing people from this generation, the man are very macho. they would rather kill themselves then be crippled for live. so the operation wnet ahead as planned and it was very successful. he was lucky again. 24 hours after the operation, he can move his leg again. can you believe that? from not be able to feel his leg to moving his leg within 24/36 hours. its a christmas miracle.
and we decided to fly back on the day of his operation. that was just after my magnificat concert in esplanade. because, cancer dont play play. i mean, when i was having my german job attachment during my poly days, i was staying at his place, and he really take good care of me. he was the sweet oen who bought chocolates for me and the chocolate cupboard always stays full. he was a funny man and i admire him for his love of weissbier and pork knuckles.
anyways, when i was there for 10 days, he was recovering so well. he was on a fast fast speedyh recovery. he was smiling and joking again in no time. he can also bring himself to the toilet. all this within 48/60 hours after the operation. it was a nice feeling to see this man, so lucky, so brave and so fast recovering. it made the traveling less painful (mind you, a 13 hour flight in SQ to frankfurt, and then a 5 hour train ride to reach the hometown, and then meeting this cold cold dark grey depressing winter season. it was for me 35 degrees to -10 degress in 13 hours.)
so, when i return back to singapore, i was sure i will see him again this june when i have to be europe for the gamelan thingy in prague and germany and possibly switzerland.
anyways, now, deutschland just called again. apperently, the Führer just had his final result from the test and he could speak anymore. he was crying on the phone and he just couldnt speak anymore. it was either the news was too shocking for him or that he fell into depression again or that anything worst happen again. right now, i still do not know whats the latest news. only that the doctor need to do another CT Scan on him and he was given medicnie to calm down and rest. it sounds very uncertain and scary at the same time. i just hope for the best. lets all hope for the best. i am a bit sad even.
so, meiner deutsch Führer, get well soon!!!
and that is the reason why i was in germany, and not in thailand.
white, red, gold and frozen.
Thursday, January 3, 2008 11:32 AM
greetings. firstly, happy new year. so, yes, i was not in thailand. i was somewhere else. in germany, oberbayern. i changed my flight ticket last in the last 24 hours before i had to leave...phew........ i let the photos speak for it selves.
in between my legs.
the whole ensemble.
group photo
the men
miss thailand wanna-be
me and wayne
my designs.
group photo
MM Lee, walking in with like his entourage.
MM Lee, stopping to see us play plink plonk music.
the Führer, in the hospital
